Mom Central Baby

Starting Over...

Well not entirely, but close. Let me clarify.  I am the mother of a 12 year old and I am just now expecting my 2nd. Why the big gap?  Why does anything happen in life.  I was a young mom at 23 with my daughter, in a long-term-not-so-stable relationship, and well, things happen. I hadn't finished my college degree but was inching my way toward the finish line one class at a time. I realized I had to grow up much faster than many of my friends when I had my daughter. Couple young motherhood with a not-so-responsible partner and I ended up a single, working mom and going full force toward my degree.  It wasn't easy but very rewarding. I owned a small condo in a non-descriptive brick building, but it was mine. I was also still tortured by my loyalty for my daughter's father, and his inability to let go of us made it harder to move forward with another relationship. 

When I finally got my degree at 29, I made a point of "walking" to receive my diploma along with all of my fellow 21 year-old peers.  I did this for Emilee more than myself to prove to her that you can accomplish your goals as long as you work hard.  And she was there, sitting with my parents, cheering the loudest.

I couldn't, and didn't know where my life would take me from that point, it seemed time was slipping away and I was getting older with no serious relationship. I wondered if I would ever get married or have any more children. I was starting to think that "fairytale" would never happen for me.   Two weeks after I received my degree, I met my future husband.

So here I am, 6 years later, expecting another little girl at 35 years old. People ask me why, when I was just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, would I start all over again.  I had even been asking myself that question. I've come to realize that it's not starting over, it's completing my family.  An extension of my already established tiny family. For many years, my immediate family consisted of the two of us and now it has almost doubled. So bring it on little girl!  You have a big sister who is itching to meet you.

Whose feet will the baby have? And a few other things I've been thinking about lately

My husband and I have polar opposite feet.  Mine are super long, narrow, completely flat, and my toes are out of order size-wise. Full disclosure - my second toe is as long as some people's pinkie fingers.  My husband's feet have high arches, orderly toes, and are candidates for a modeling job.

Almost every day I find myself wondering whose feet will our little lady have? Will we know right from the beginning? 

And then I wonder, will our little lady actually be a little lady?  We had two ultrasounds and both technicians said girl definitely.  But I just don't quite believe it.  Over the past few months I've heard more stories of couples told they are *definitely* having girls and then receive the "It's a boy announcement!" in the delivery room.  I suppose I'll believe it when I see it.

The baby seems move around a lot starting at 11 p.m.  Does that mean she's going to be a night owl like my husband?  Back in the day when I could sleep normally I typically hit sack around 9 p.m.

Will she be friendly or shy?

Will she have blue eyes or brown?

Will she let me do her hair?

Will she love ice cream and peanut butter? 

Will she watch the History Channel endlessly with her dad?

Will she be a Sox fan (like me) or a Yankees fan (like her dad)?

Will she be funny or serious - or both?

Will she like to read before she goes to sleep?

Will she enjoy dancing lessons and recitals?

Will she enjoy soccer even if she's not good at it?

Will she want to play at our house or over at her friend's?

Will she procrastinate or want to get things done right away?

Will she like dolls, blocks, or electronics?

Will she want a dog?

Will she want chocolate or plain milk when we stop at Dunkin Donuts?

Will she prefer the ocean or pools?

Will she like to go shopping on Saturday afternoons?

I am 37 weeks pregnant today and am considered full term.  I don't want to go into labor early, but I am ready to have some of these questions answered.

Celebrating our one-year anniversary, determining rug size, and making room for the baby

Last weekend was officially a great weekend.  Charlie and I celebrated our one-year anniversary (June 28) and we spent most of the weekend eating and nesting.  What else could a pregnant lady ask for?

We started out bright and early on Saturday morning and headed to our local UHaul place.  The goal was move to stuff out to make room for the baby.  Renting a UHaul turns out to be a very emotional experience for me.  When I was growing up my parents were sales reps and I spent many hours at UHaul hanging out with my dad, renting giant trucks for trade shows.  Let's just say I'm a very good packer.

We didn't need a big truck for our move, just a cargo van.  My high school "car" growing up was a 15-passenger maroon Dodge Ram Van with a silver racing stripe (same size as the photo at the right).  Super cool, as you would imagine, but I loved it. 

Right now I have a very nice VW Passat that is a hand-me-down from my mom.  I love that it starts every day, but it just doesn't feel right.  So when I climbed into the UHaul van this weekend, I actually started to cry.  I felt like I was home.

Once we loaded up the van, we headed to my storage facility in Brockton, Mass.  After I sold my mom and dad's house about four years ago, I decided that rather than sorting through everything at the time of the sale I'd just move it to storage.  This ended up being a very good decision for me.  Over the years I've retrieved quite a few items, but I still have a small storage unit.

Side note:  I love my movers.  If you're in the Greater Boston Area, I highly recommend Kilroy Brothers Moving & Storage out of Brockton.  Karl, the owner, is awesome. They made what was a fairly big, daunting, and sad move for me very easy.  Their rates are very reasonable and the storage facility is immaculate.  If you ended up using Kilroy, make sure to ask for Richie to be on your crew.  He's the best.

While we did drop off a couch and some other items at the storage facility, the main goal was to retrieve my stuffed animals.  I know that may sound crazy and that many moms consider stuffed animals "dust collectors," but I'm very fond of mine (although we definitely don't need any more). The motley crew is pictured on the left.

My old friends are in great shape;  they are a little squished but they smell fine and aren't moldy at all.  It's really good to have them under the same roof again.

On the way home, we stopped by my Aunt Robin and Uncle Ari's house.  They donated some book shelves for the baby's room, which is terrific.  Then we ended up having an impromptu lunch.  Robin made us some fabulous panini sandwiches.   I always feel spoiled when she cooks for us - yum!

Saturday afternoon I took a huge nap while Charlie installed our air conditioners.  That night we had a nice dinner at Gargoyles, a restaurant right down the street from us in Davis Square. 

On Sunday, our official anniversary, we (well, mostly me) decided it was a good idea to plan out the layout of the furniture in the what's going to be the baby's room.  

So here is the big decision we could use some help with:  What size rug should we get? 

I've fallen in love with this rug (pictured below) from The Land of Nod.  We're trying to decide between the 4x6 and the 5x8. 

The photo below demonstrates what the 4x6 would look like space-wise.  Now imagine that the piano moves to the right side of the room (roughly where the stuffed animals are grouped) and the crib goes where the piano is.  The dresser is going down to the basement. 

The next photo with the added towels around the quilt is meant to illustrate the 5x8 version of the rug.

So what do you think?  Here are the issues:

• I have a moderate fear of big rugs (I hate vacuuming).
• If we choose the smaller version, will it look lost in the room?
• We also don't want to cover up too much of the wood floor. There will also be an over-stuffed chair, some book shelves, and a dresser in the room.
• The larger rug is about $100 more expensive.

We need to make a decision by July 15 because that's when The Land of Nod sale ends. Decisions, decisions ....  Any ideas?

Next up on our Anniversary Weekend Itinerary was a trip to Singing Beach at Manchester-by-the-Sea, Mass., which is where Charlie and I met nearly five years ago on July 3.  It's a cute little town and a great stretch of beach.  Here we are striking a pose.

After our walk on the beach we had lunch at The Landing at 7 Central.  Lobster salad roll and fries for Charlie, fried fish sandwich and fries for me.  Delish.

The final event of the weekend was defrosting and eating our one-year-old wedding cake.  Now I am a very traditional and superstitious person.  But for some reason, this particular tradition is not that important to me.  Not so for Charlie.  I was afraid of getting food-poisoned from mold.  But we did eat the cake Sunday evening, we did survive, and it actually tasted fine. Ironically, at our wedding the cake was the only food I consumed the whole night. It tasted very good fresh as well.

I can't believe Charlie and I have known each other for nearly five years and have been married for one! It's really flown by.  I feel really lucky to have a met such a special guy who has already stuck with me through both good times and tough times.

And I think he's going to be a great Dad.

Final side note:  We spent a lot of time looking at photos this weekend and can't believe that I weigh almost 40 pounds more than I did on our wedding day.  And alas, it's not all baby weight :)

****************

Adrienne is Mom Central's Community Manager.

adrienne@momcentral.com | http://twitter.com/adriennelb | http://www.facebook.com/AdrienneLB

Review and Giveaway: Isabella Oliver maternity top

I must confess, I've been on celebrity bump watch for years and have often found myself wondering, "How do they look SO good when they are SO large?"  Well, aside from access to trainers and chefs, it has something to do with incredibly flattering maternity wear. Enter Isabella Oliver Maternity.

Isabella Oliver is a new brand to me but you've probably seen Angelina Jolie, Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Lopez, Heidi Klum and a host of other celebs wearing this line of clothing.

I tried on the cap sleeve scoop top sample that was sent to me here at work and the ruching on the sides sucked me a bit, yet was still very comfortable.  It is very fitted - which took a little bit for me to get used to.  But the consensus around the office was two thumbs up.

Isabella Oliver Maternity is available for purchase online only.  Check out the website here.

Mom Central Baby is giving away one cap sleeve top (size 3) in cobalt blue, thanks to the team at Isabella Oliver. 

Here's how to enter to win:

1. Please comment below on this post (make sure to to leave your email address)
2. Bonus entry if you Tweet about the contest
3. Bonus entry if you link to this post from your blog or website

Contest ends Wednesday, July 1, at 11:59 p.m. EST.

Interested in more giveaways?  Browse through the Mom Central Giveaways & Freebies Roundup!

Interview: Money-saving tips from Heather of 'Freebies 4 Mom'

I’ve always kept an eye on the sale rack, but I’m relatively new to disciplined couponing.  Since I’ve started to contemplate all the new expenses (never mind responsibilities) that come along with having a new baby, I asked Heather from Freebies 4 Mom to share her tips.  Heather has a terrific goal:  to help everyone learn how to save money on the products they use daily. 

How and when did you first become involved in the "Freebie World?"

After my second son was born, I was looking for ways to save money on everything because it was a challenging transition for my family to go from a "dual-income with no kids" to "single-income with two kids" within two years.  So I started paying attention to free samples and coupons because I saw the potential for them to help reduce our grocery bill.  I started spending time online learning about how to save money by taking advantage of all the promotions by retailers and manufacturers.  I discovered that saving money can be fun and it became my hobby to find the best freebies and share them with my friends by email. 

My list of friends grew quickly and I needed to find a new format to share my finds.  Just before my youngest son turned one I started my blog Freebies4Mom.com  so that I could easily share my finds and help others save money too.

I grew up in a family that shopped at garage sales for everything from clothes to cars.  My parents introduced me to the thrill of the hunt for amazing deals at garage sales and stores.  I started using coupons when I was in college, but didn't fully realize their savings power until I became a mom.  I love shopping sales, but especially clearances.  I hunt for clearance items at every store I shop at.  



Now I am rewarded by sharing my freebie finding hobby with thousands of people every day through my blog.  I didn't realize it until recently, but I've spent my entire life earning about everything related to saving money.  I feel I have unique knowledge to pass along to my readers.  I recently received the honor of being included in the Nielsen's Power 50 Moms list as a "Savvy Spender Mom Blog.”  It was quite a surprise and a big thrill to be highlighted out of the thousands of mom blogs out there.  But the biggest honor is to have so many people tell me that I'm helping them save money.

For moms (or anyone) who are new to couponing, what is the best way to take a jump in?



1. Start simple and don't let it overwhelm you. 
2. Start paying attention to the Sunday paper by clipping coupons and reading the weekly store ads.  
3. For free samples that you request online, start visiting Freebie Friday at MomAdvice.com <http://MomAdvice.com>  for the best free samples and free events.  I contribute to this weekly list, and it really is the best weekly list for free stuff around.  
4. If you have a few minutes each day, then start reading my blog Freebies4Mom.com  because I cover a wide variety of freebies and money-savers.  Reading blogs is fun and a great way to get information in a more personal way.  You will find your time spent on freebies and coupons is rewarded.  The more rewarding it becomes the more time you'll want to spend on it.
5. I find that the most important step to take for those new to the frugal world is for people to change the way they think about their purchases.  When you carefully track the money you're spending, you start to think about alternatives to what you are spending on.  Sometimes it's not about denying yourself something, but finding a free alternative to what you want.  The free alternatives are what I focus my blog on.  Don't spend mindlessly, but think about every penny that leaves your wallet and how to keep those pennies in your wallet. 

Money is a resource that we need for our daily lives, but we also need it for our future.  Saving for our own retirement, and for our children's education is important.  Moms need to choose not to spend all of the money they have at this moment, so that they can save for their family's future needs.

I'm a new mom-to-be and there are some scary numbers out there about how much it costs to raise a child from birth to 18, never mind college.  What can moms do to save on the essentials right off the bat?

 

Ignore the statistics about the price of raising children because what matters is how you work within your budget on a day-to-day basis.  The best way to go about saving money on baby and kid stuff is to change the way you acquire the things that you need and want. 

Here are a few ideas:

1. Try to get baby items for FREE
2. If not free, then try for gently USED.   
3. Try to get items new but DISCOUNTED. 

Babies require only a few basics to be happy, but there are a lot of gadgets and extras that are marketed to new moms.  Focus on the basics that you need for baby: food, clothing, diapering, safe equipment (crib, carseat, highchair, etc.).



Do you think it sounds crazy to try to get FREE baby stuff? 

Well, it's not because Freepeats.org  helps you find gently used (and sometimes new) maternity, baby and kid stuff locally in 51 cities.  Some moms (including me) just want to give stuff away to other moms who can use it, but have a hard time connecting with those other moms.  Freepeats connects people so that they can help each other. 

Gift Registries

Getting things for free also means asking for the things you need and want as gifts.  Register at a store your family and friends shop at.  My favorite is the Target Baby Registry because they have everything and it's easy to buy things in the store or online.  Or you can ask for gift cards so you can buy exactly what you need (even diapers). 

Garage Sales

If you have time to go to garage sales, it can be rewarding to visit them at the end of the sale when people will sometimes give stuff away rather than hauling it off to donate.  See how many different ways there are to get things for your baby without taking money out of your purse?

  You can find gently used baby stuff from several different sources.  This is where you have to be a treasure hunter, so it helps if you can tell your friends and family what you are looking for so that they can help you hunt for that treasure.  You can go to garage sales, shop at thrift stores, or shop online at local forums.  Garage sales are fun to go to, but can be one of the most time-consuming ways to find things. 

Resale Shops

Resale shops are excellent places to find what you need, especially the ones the specialize in maternity/baby/kid stuff.  If you are looking for bigger items like strollers, then it's best to call resale shops ahead and ask them what they have in-stock. 

Local Forums

Online local forums like Craig's List  or Walmart's Free Classifieds  are great places to look (and great places to sell your own stuff because it's free to list items for sale).



Discounts and Clearance Sales

After you've exhausted your resources for getting free and gently used baby stuff, then you need to look at how to buy what you need new but at a discounted price.  When you shop a great clearance sale (70 to 90% off original price) look closely and think ahead to what your kids will need up to a year from now.  Also use this as an opportunity to stock your gift closet for your own children and for the birthdays they attend. 

Use the internet as a resource for finding deals, comparing prices, and reading product reviews.  My favorite deal-finding blog is BabyCheapskate.com. 

Returns

Another part of being a smart shopper is to return the things that you don't need or change your mind on.  I'm amazed by how many people who have brand-new clothing with tags hanging in their kids closets that they outgrow before they ever wear.  Keep your receipts and return things promptly as soon as you realize you don't need it.  It's usually worth your time to make those returns happen and get your money back in your purse.

What stores (online or brick-and-mortar) do you think consistently offer the best deals on baby supplies?



The best deals are at your local grocery store, superstore, or drugstore if you time your purchase right.  It's a great idea to read the weekly store ads to know what's on sale and then use coupons if possible on those sales items that you need in your household. 

When buying diapers and formula the best source of information is Baby Cheapskate, where you'll find the "Top Diaper and Formula Deals of the Week" posted every Sunday. 

How do you find coupons beyond the Sunday coupon inserts? 

Visit me at Freebies4Mom.com where I list the hottest printable coupons  and tell you about free samples that usually include coupons.  Saving money is all about timing your purchases.  You can save the most when you wait to use a coupon when the item is on sale.  There are also deals online at Amazon.com and other retailers, but you usually have to buy in-bulk and sometimes factor in the shipping cost before you determine if it's really a good deal. 

I think you'll find better deals in-store if you are willing to spend some time looking for the best deals each week and are willing to shop at a few different stores.

What about baby furniture?  Where do you shop?



For baby furniture I recommend looking for sales, not buying gender-specific styles, and keeping things simple.  I bought our baby furniture at Target, Walmart, and Babies 'R Us and it was all either on sale or just a great low price. 

With furniture purchases you have to think long-term.  Where will this furniture be in 10 years?  With the new convertible crib styles, you can keep your crib well beyond the baby years.  Some convertible cribs can become a headboard and footboard for a full-size bed.

My nursery furniture used for both of my boys is now all in my guest room (which previously only had folding tables as furniture with the bed on a basic frame).  It does cost a little more to buy the convertible crib, but if you think ahead to how you will use it I think it can be worth it.  I purchased my crib at Babies 'R Us when it was on sale, you also should keep an eye out on the coupons they issue. 

My rocking chair I found in the Garden Department at Walmart for a great price.  I totally skipped the expensive gliders because I just didn't think I needed one (and I didn't).  My basic rocking chair worked great for rocking and nursing my babies.  Now it works great for reading books to my toddlers.  I did splurge at Target on a matching chifarobe and dresser that was on clearance at Target.  But when I bought them I knew that someday I would move them into my guest room.



And for clothing? Where are the best deals?

Almost all of my kids clothing are hand-me-downs or were purchased at garage sales.  Especially now that I have two boys close in age, I almost never go shopping for their clothing.  If I do go shopping, it's because we have a very specific need (like a winter coat) that our current stock of clothing won't cover.  If I don't have time to hunt for something at a resale shop or at garage sales, the I will shop my favorite stores both in-store and online. 

I like to shop for kids clothing at Target and Old Navy because they have cute stuff and prices are reasonable (especially the sales and clearances).  I always look at the Clearance section first and I try to think ahead to what we will need for the next season if the prices are really low.  But I primarily rely on the hand-me-downs and garage sale finds.  It's wonderful not to worry about ruining any of our pre-loved clothing because we didn't spend a lot of money on it.

How can moms take advantage of your site on a daily basis?




If you are new to Freebies4Mom.com, I'd love to welcome you with a short introduction and orientation here.  If you have time to visit Freebies4Mom.com every day, then you'll have fun browsing the hottest freebies and coupons around.  If you prefer to get an email from me every day, then it's easy to subscribe to the Freebies4Mom email updates here .  I post several new things each and every day because the hottest freebies last for less than a day. 

My job is to sift through all the freebies and promotions out there and tell you about the best ones.  Most of the free samples I share are for consumable products that most families use.  Because I have two toddlers, I have an eye out for the freebies for our children to share with my readers.  If you are looking for a specific freebie, coupon or type of offer, then just type it into my "Search" box at the top right.  I've also got great resources lists at the bottom of the left sidebar that can give you some general categories to browse.  A great post for any parent to read is my "Baby, Toddlers, and Kid Freebies ."  Moms with toddlers and school-age children will find my new Rewarding Summer Reading Programs  list useful.  I like to share free alternatives to family entertainment  because buying movies and reading material can add up fast, but are some of the easiest things to get for free.


Where to find Heather:

Freebies 4 Mom blog
Follow Freebies 4 Mom on Twitter

Thanks for all the great tips, Heather!

*******************

Are you running a website, blog or business catering to new moms?  Email adrienne@momcentral.com if you'd like to be featured here on the Mom Central Baby blog.

My last Mother's Day in limbo

For the past decade or so, my cousins, aunts, and I have gotten together for our annual Dead Mothers Club (DMC) dinner on Mother's Day.  When my mom was still alive, we would drive  to the designated restaurant together and talk endlessly about my two grandmothers, both of whom passed away when I was in college, and how much we missed them.

In the early years of the DMC, before I was formally initiated, I would look around the table at my family and wonder how these women, including my own mom, could laugh so much when someone so important was missing in their lives.

I remember at one point asking my cousin Judy how she felt, and she explained that Mother's Day was also a day to celebrate being a mom.

My mom's been gone for nearly five years and I "talk" to her all the time, but holidays definitely make me take a step back and think about all the events that have happened over the past few years and how I hope that somehow she knows what's been going on.  It's amazing, but as they say, the world does keep on turning.

In honor of Mother's Day, here are a few things I wish my mom knew...

***************

Mom,

Remember the guy I introduced you to a few weeks before you died?  You leaned over to me and whispered, “He’s adorable.”  We got married on what would have been your and dad’s thirty-third wedding anniversary.

The Red Sox won the World Series, twice.  My husband Charlie is a Yankees fan.

I sold our family home and bought a new place that I absolutely love.  We have a tiny yard, planted rhododendrons and hydrangeas, and even have a white picket fence.

Charlie and I lived together before we got married and we survived despite your dire warnings of living in sin.

Your wedding dress fit me after adding about six inches of lace at the bottom and my own loss of 15 pounds.  I promptly gained back 20 in the three months after the big day.

Martin Scorsese filmed a movie right down the street from your old office in Downtown Boston. It won the Oscar and you would love it.

I’ve had four jobs in the five years since you died, but I think I'm heading in the right direction.

 “Me Too” is my new favorite brand of shoes – comfy, cute, and they fit my big feet.  I think of you every time I find a new pair that fits and then I buy them.  Just like dad, Charlie doesn’t quite understand (yet).

I still only know how to cook one dish, a tofu stir-fry.  I miss your stuffed peppers, salmon on the grill, avocado salads, turkey burgers, fruit salad, tuna fish, and a full cookie jar.  Auntie Elise threw me a “Recipe Shower” but I still haven’t tried any of the recipes.  I could use your help.

We're going to have a baby girl in September and we've already picked out her name.

***************

I'm already looking forward to Mother's Day next year.

The Blue Hands Mystery - solved

Up until about a week ago, the only new/strange pregnancy symptom I noticed over the past few months is my "double sneeze."  I've never really been a multi-sneezer (unlike my friend Marie who has been known to sneeze over six times in a row), but since becoming pregnant often I sneeze in rapid fire twice in row.  So loudly, in fact, that if I'm in my bedroom it turns on the light attached to my Clapper. Yes, I have a Clapper and I absolutely love it.  I would highly recommend it to anyone who does not have room on their bedside table for a lamp.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago my Aunt Josephine cooked us a fabulous supper at her house. I was feeling cold - my husband says I'm "temperature-challenged" - and put on a scarf.  Cold fingers and toes run in my mom's side of my family so I'm used to dressing in layers. 

I happened to take a look at my hands and noticed that they were on the blue side.  This concerned both me and my husband, as you can imagine, because although my fingers are frequently cold they don't turn blue.  When I got home I took a shower and then in the morning they looked fine.

The next day, I headed down to another aunt's house for lunch and was quite cold there as well. And once again, my hands were turning blue/gray.  Not ideal, so I decided to call my doctor's office in the morning.  I knew that pregnant women sometimes had circulation problems.  My husband started Googling around and thought maybe iron was the issue

So I called my doctor's office and also emailed the nurse I see regularly.  Neither seemed too concerned and suggested I make an appointment with my primary care doc.  Blech - more doctors appointments.

I decided to wait and see how the week went before making appointment and my hands seemed totally fine - even when I was cold.

The next Friday evening, my husband had some friends over to watch the baseball game.  As I was sitting on the couch chatting, I happened to look at my hands and lo and behold they were BLUE again.  Bluer than ever in fact.  I was trying not to panic and REALLY wished I hadn't put off seeing my PCP.

And then I started to think... What did the days my hands turned blue have in common?  Saturday, Sunday, and a Friday.  Weekend days.  Days I can wear jeans (we have casual Fridays at work).

I had just bought new jeans that I LOVE from Destination Maternity primarily because they are a dark dark blue.  So dark, they apparently turned my hands blue since I wore them a couple times before washing.

Well, I did my laundry and did a test drive and I'm happy to report that I am no longer suffering for the non-pregnancy-related Blue Hands Syndrome.

And I still love my jeans. 

Did anything like this happen during your pregnancy?  I'm feeling a little silly, as you can imagine!